


Daily 300 #1 - Millstone, or In Which Eggsy Feels Guilt

by waywardalpaca



Series: Daily 300 [1]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, eggsy feels guilty about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:29:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4518414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardalpaca/pseuds/waywardalpaca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy'd gone soft in Kingsman, stronger physically than he'd ever been, but soft towards the sort of abuse that was once common for him. "You've done nothin' wrong, Harry, don't worry your head."</p><p>The first of my Daily 300 series, in which eggsy feels guilty after a honeypot mission</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daily 300 #1 - Millstone, or In Which Eggsy Feels Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> \--i use text speak in my notes, not in my work--
> 
> pls pardon the roughness, i wrote it in like an hour as the first of my daily 300 series, in which i write 300 words of really anything every day, some days fanfic, some not. today it ended up closer to 500; se la vie

Eggsy breathed deep, and relaxed into Harry's arms. It'd been a long four days, and not the most pleasant mission. Sure, honeypots were a nice break from bullets, but they were straining in their own way. Eggsy'd gone soft in Kingsman, stronger physically than he'd ever been, but soft towards the sort of abuse that was once common for him. Being put back in that place with only a debriefing and a plane flight to prepare him... that was rough.

Harry had seemed to sense his tension earlier that evening, so he'd pulled Eggsy into bed as usual, trying to calm his nerves as he always did, with sex and love; but the tension remained, sitting heavy in Eggsy's lower abdomen. The guilt he'd carried for years was back, but this time he was out of practice at keeping it in its place. Eggsy shifted in Harry's arms to better accommodate it, but it made no difference, as nothing would. Nothing ever did. He felt Harry's hand find his, and a light kiss on his neck. "Sore, darling?"

Eggsy hesitated. "Not exactly."

"Would a massage help? Or are you rather... dissatisfied?" Eggsy's brow furrowed, and he shook his head.

"You've done nothin' wrong, Harry, don't worry your head."

"My dear boy, as long as you're malcontented I'll be worried." Eggsy felt Harry's breathing pause, then-- "to be quite truthful, I've been concerned about my own performance anyway. I'm hardly as young as I used to be." Another pause. "Eggsy, are you satisfied in bed?"

"Of course, Harry." Eggsy turned in Harry's arms, and met his eyes across the pillow. "Just--honeypots aren't the greatest for me, alright? You've done nothin', you're great as ever, fuckin' brilliant, Harry, really."

Harry dipped his head, and smiled. "That's one worry eased. I'd been a bit preoccupied with that one."

"That one?"

"There's still a millstone around your neck, I can hear it in your voice. You're strained, Eggsy. I'm glad I'm not the problem, of course, but I want you at ease."

"Oh."

Harry let out a breath. "Eggsy, if something's wrong I do encourage you to tell me. If you don't want to talk, I understand, but I want to help you if you'll allow me."

"S'alright, I s'pose I saw this comin'. I just... I don't like honeypots, Harry. I feel used, like I'm back to bein' a rentboy, y'know? I--" Harry's face flickered--Eggsy just barely caught it. "I--did you not know about that?" Harry opened his mouth, as if to speak, but-- "You--you knew, Kingsman's got a file on me, haven't they? Wouldn't it have that?"

"Eggsy..." Harry's eyes softened. "I didn't know. But I'm not the type of person to condemn sex workers." 

Eggsy's first instinct was to run. His second was to bury his face in the pillow. He did the latter.

"You needn't be ashamed."

He wound his hands into Harry's shirt, and left his muscles frozen, unwilling to move and accept his reality. 

"Darling, this doesn't change that I love you. I doubt anything could." Eggsy let out a whimper. 

"It's not jus' that, 'arry," his accent becoming yet more indistinguishable with every added stressor. "It's not like I put myself up for the job. Me or my mum, said Dean. I didn't 'ave a choice."

Harry stilled. "Lord knows what I'll do to him should he come near you again." Eggsy fell deeper in Harry's arms, tears starting to prick his eyes.

"Fuck."

Harry pulled him closer. "Now that I think of it, if it'd help, I can tell you precisely what I'd do to him." No reaction. Harry furrowed his brow. "Or would you rather a massage anyhow?" Still no reaction. "Well, there's got to be some way to fix this problem. I'm determined to find it. There'll be no misery for you, I swear by it." He knit his fingers in Eggsy's hair, combing and tugging softly through it, humming lightly under his breath in a show of contentedness; he did love the feel of Eggsy in his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to the younger man's forehead, and saw his tear-filled eyes crinkle. The beginnings of a smile. Perfect.

"You know I love you, Eggsy." He ran his hands up and down Eggsy's back, rolling off of his side and pulling Eggsy forward, lifting him onto his chest, Eggsy keening all the way. "You're mine, dear boy. There'll be no escaping me now."

Harry sealed him thoroughly in his embrace, tears falling slowly down his chest, not a sound escaping Eggsy's lips. He pulled Eggsy closer, and Eggsy pressed a kiss to Harry's clavicle.

The guilt started to fade.


End file.
